It’s that time of year faithful Grassy Knoll Institute faithful. I, LOTGK, the Curator have focused my considerable psychic abilities to steal a glimpse into the future and reveal 50 bold predictions for 2012. Some of the predictions may shock you, may make you laugh or cry, and probably down right false. However, in 2011, I correctly predicted the capture and execution of Osama Bin laden, the Kim Kardashian marriage and quick divorce, the Charlie Sheen debacle, That Jessica Simpson would become pregnant, the J-Lo divorce, and many more successful predictions.
Lets see how good my clairvoyant powers fare for the 2012 year. Check back regularly as predictions come true or fall short. (Nostradamus has nothing on me)
1) Leslie Frasier, head coach for the Minnesota Vikings gets fired as Zygi Wilf once again begins from scratch. That’s three head coaches in 6 years. Tice, Childress, Frasier. Failed: Frasier has the Vikings poised for the playoffs.
2) Jim Tressel, former head coach of “Thee” Ohio State Buckeyes football team, becomes a head coach in the NFL. Failed: Jimmy is no where to be seen.
3) Joe Paterno, who stepped down from his head coach position of Penn State due to the rape scandal of his former assistant coaches, is found dead.
01/22/2012 Long time Penn state football coach Joe Paterno passed away from lung cancer today.
4) Zsa Zsa Gabor succumbs to her illness and passes away.
5) The princess of England, Kate, is pregnant. Now all they need is a spare. Success: Kate is knocked up. But who is the father?
6) Regis Philbin, long time host of the successful Today show, passes away.
7) Dick Clark, eternal Bandstand teenager, succumbs to his illness and passes away. Dick Clark passed away Thursday April 19th.
8) Lindsay Lohan likes the job she has at the morgue so well, she decides to stay on after her required time she was ordered to perform. Failed: Like Lindsay’s career, this prediction has failed miserably.
9) Lebron James will still have one in common with Stevie Wonder. Both don’t know what a championship ring looks like. Damn, James won his ring beating Oklahoma City.
10) The elusive often thought of as a myth, the Higgs Boson God particle is discovered. This heralds the beginning of the understanding of the universe and the minute role we play.SUCCESS: Scientists concur in a 5 sigma result which means they are 99. 999% sure they have found the “God” particle.
11) In Egypt, another Pharoah kings tomb is located. The tomb will be almost pristine, untouched for millennia.
12) Sprint Mobile will acquire T- Mobile to combine technology and bandwidth and the critically needed customers.
13) The new Iphone 5 will debut in 2012 and will be radically reconfigured. It will have a 4 inch screen and will have the capability to wifi to your TV or computer. Success: Everything above is spot on.
14) The Baltimore Ravens win the Super Bowl.
FAILED: 01/22/2012 The Ravens lost to the Pats today in a close game that went down to the wire.
15) the Boston Celtics in the shortened lockout season, win the NBA championship.Failed: The Celtics lost in the finals.
16) The New York Yankees return to glory and win the World Series. Failed: Damn Yankees.
17) The Minnesota Vikings, after an ongoing ten-year negotiation, fail to get the stadium deal approved opening the door for the team to leave.The Vikings were denied approval of a new stadium deal as Gov. Dayton said there were not enough votes.
18) Japan will suffer an earthquake of at least a 7.0 magnitude. No serious damage will occur to its nuclear reactors.
Just several hours after posting this years predictions, an earthquake with a magnitude of 7.0 shook Japan. No serious injury.
19) Google will tighten its grip on their Android operating system and announce that all Android phone makers must adhere to a rigid design plan.
Google to manufacturers: Include your own Holo theme for the newest version of Android if they wish to get their device officially licensed by them as an official Google product.
20) Microsoft actually introduces something useful. They will update their cell phone design, their operating system to encompass all types of electronic media.Success! Microsoft has Windows 8 due to deliver in October, Windows 8 is a completely new operating system and the Nokia Lumia 900 debuts to rave reviews.
21) Microsoft also introduces its tablet, it will rival the Ipad and Android tablets.SUCCESS: Microsoft announced their new tablet, “The Surface” which will be available in October of this year.
22) Katie Perry Splits with Russel Brand.
I had this already penciled in when I saw that Brand had just filed. So, I will not count this one. 01/01/2012
23) Justin Bieber’s teenage romance stalls and he breaks it off with Selena Gomez. Success: Both have moved on. Thank the Mayan calendar for that.
24) Michael Lohan, Lindsay Lohan’s father, winds up in jail. Success: It was an easy prediction.
25) George Clooney gets bored, and dumps Stacey Keibler.
26) Rock legend Madonna debuts a new album, and it tanks.SUCCESS: No one really knows she even dropped a new album.
27) A new Star Trek series is announced.
28 A double prediction for Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay inks a deal for a major movie role that will re-ignite her acting career.
Lindsay secured the starring role in the Elizabeth Taylor biopic, a major role indeed.
29) Amber Portman, MTV Teen Mom will survive a suicide watch.
30) Kelly Ripa’s Today show will be canceled. The ratings plummet without Regis.
31) Long Time FOX series House is extended for one more year.Failed! FOX announced this will be the last season for House.
32) NBC daytime soap opera Days Of Our Lives gets the axe.
33) The “Killer” Jerry Lee Lewis ends his nightly performances and becomes ill. Soon after, he dies.
34) The Mayan calendar is not correct. The world will not end on December 21st. Success: We’re still here.
35) Jerry Lewis, long time icon of the MD Telethon, after being fired as chairman, gets re-instated for the labor day airing. Failed: Didn’t even have a telethon this year.
36) Northeast Ohio will experience a 5.0 magnitude earthquake. It will be the worst one in Ohio.
37) Newly appointed North Korean “Dear Leader” Kim Jong-Un will stay the course of his father regime and keep the border closed and secretive.SUCCESS: Un has been business as usual with his new regime.
38) Jonathan Frid, actor who portrayed the 175 year old vampire Barnabus Collins in the soap opera Dark Shadows in the 1960’s, passes away.Frid died April 16th, just a few weeks before the release of the rebooted Dark shadows remake starring Johnny Depp.
39) A new technology in battery storage extends the charge by over 50 percent. This leads the way to not only cell phone batteries, but new electric cars.
40) The Crimson Tide rolls to victory over LSU to win the BCS National Championship game.
The Crimson Tide shut out LSU 21-0 to capture the BCS championship game.
41) Randy Moss, NFL retired wide receiver, signs on with yet another team to continue his career and quest to win a Super Bowl.Success! Randy Moss has signed a contract with the San Francisco 49ers for the 2012 season.
42) Britney Spears winds up pregnant. Federline denies paternity.
43) The Kardashians reality television series gets canceled. Thank God.
44) Arnold Schwarzenegger announces he is reviving the terminator franchise.
45) Thee Ohio State Buckeyes football team under new head coach Urban Meyer wins enough games to be the Big Ten Champions. Success: Buckeyes went undefeated and would have been big ten champs.
46) K-Mart Corporation declares bankruptcy succumbing to the mighty Wal-Mart 500 pound gorilla.
47) Nick Cannon finally grows a pair and leaves Mariah Carey.
48) Lady Gaga announces her retirement. She wants to marry and have little monsters of her own. Success: For all intent and purposes, she has retired.
49) The Duggars family, all 20 kids and counting, will not have any more children as the family doctor performs surgery on Michelle preventing any more pregnancies to save her life. Success: No more counting.
50) Gasoline prices will dip below $3.00 per gallon.SUCCESS: Gas prices in major cities have dipped below the $3 dollar line reporting in South Carolina and Florida prices in the $2.90 range.
There you have it folks. Fifty bold predictions to keep you satisfied until 2013, which, coincidentally, according to the Mayan calendar, the world will never see.
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